ADHD Realities

Why are we still recycling 1800s pseudoscience about masturbation? In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Eric Sprankle to unpack where these beliefs started, why they stubbornly survive, and how moral panic replaces real science. From fetal self-soothing to porn ‘addiction’ myths, to why ADHD brains often get misdiagnosed — we hit every uncomfortable truth with humor, clarity, and zero shame.More about Dr. Eric Sprankle:Dr. Eric Sprankle is a professor of clinical psychology at Minnesota State University, Mankato. He is also a licensed psychologist and AASECT-certified sex therapist affiliated with the Minnesota Sexual Health Institute. He received his doctorate in clinical psychology from Xavier University in 2009, completed a two-year post-doctoral fellowship in sexual health at the University of Minnesota Medical School in 2011, and was awarded tenure in the psychology department at Minnesota State University in 2017. Dr. Sprankle is the author of the recently published book, DIY: The Wonderfully Weird History and Science of Masturbation.BookInstagramWebsite

What if your “rotting brain” isn’t rotting at all — it’s regulating?
In this fiery, science meets sarcasm episode, Dr. Leann Borneman breaks down the viral panic around rot culture and doomscrolling — and explains why most of the research behind it was never designed for ADHD brains in the first place.
We’ll talk about:
Why scrolling funny, happy, or comfort content isn’t “doomscrolling” (and why everyone’s using that term wrong)
How weak neurotypical studies turned into moral panic headlines about “screen addiction”
The ADHD paradox of being overstimulated and bored at the same damn time
Why shame — not screens — is what’s frying our nervous systems
And how to figure out whether your scrolling is regulation or avoidance
With humor, science, and a few well-placed f-bombs, Dr. Borneman flips the conversation on overstimulation and teaches you how to decode your own dopamine, not demonize it.
💥 Maybe the problem isn’t screens — maybe it’s our refusal to see nuance.
🎧 Listen now.Resources: Executive Function 101 EbookReferences:
Fabio, R. A., & Suriano, R. (2024). The Role of Smartphone Use in Sensory Processing: Differences Between Adolescents with ADHD and Typical Development. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 21(12), 1705. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph21121705Ferreira, Julia & Silva, Roberta & Hamuche, Carolina & Nascimento, Rafael & Ribeiro, Ana & Gil, Saulo & Melo Neves, Lucas. (2025). Positive ADHD Scores are Associated With Higher Screen Time and Anxiety Symptoms in Medical Students: Cross-sectional Study. Actas espanolas de psiquiatria. 53. 494-503. 10.62641/aep.v53i3.1892. 
Meng Z, Ao B, Wang W, Niu T, Chen Y, Ma X, Huang Y. Relationships between screen time and childhood attention deficit hyperactivity disorder: a Mendelian randomization study. Front Psychiatry. 2024 Sep 23;15:1441191. doi: 10.3389/fpsyt.2024.1441191. PMID: 39376970; PMCID: PMC11457377.
Przybylski AK, Weinstein N. Digital Screen Time Limits and Young Children's Psychological Well-Being: Evidence From a Population-Based Study. Child Dev. 2019 Jan;90(1):e56-e65. doi: 10.1111/cdev.13007. Epub 2017 Dec 13. PMID: 29235663.
Shabahang, Reza & Hwang, Hyeyeon & Thomas, Emma & Aruguete, Mara & McCutcheon, Lynn & Gábor, Orosz & Hossienkhanzadeh, Abbas Ali & Mokhtari Chirani, Benyamin & Zsila, Ágnes. (2024). Doomscrolling Evokes Existential Anxiety and Fosters Pessimism about Human Nature? Evidence from Iran and the United States. Computers in Human Behavior Reports. 15. 100438. 10.1016/j.chbr.2024.100438. 

Why were we all labeled “too much” before we ever got a diagnosis? Let’s interrupt that story.This week, I sit down with Dr. Gilly Kahn — psychologist, mom, and author of Allow Me to Interrupt: A Psychologist Reveals the Emotional Truth Behind Women’s ADHD. We unpack the late diagnosis epidemic, the emotional toll of masking, rejection sensitivity, and how outdated diagnostic criteria still leave girls unseen. Gilly and I talk about what it really means to reclaim your identity after years of self-blame, why emotional dysregulation deserves a front-row seat in ADHD conversations, and how empowerment starts with unlearning shame.
If you’ve ever been told you’re “too emotional,” “too reactive,” or just “too much,” this one’s for you.More about this weeks guest:Gilly Kahn, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist, mother, and writer. She specializes in neurodiversity and emotion regulation and provides individual therapy in Atlanta, Georgia. When she is not seeing clients or mommying, you’ll usually find her writing, probably about something psychological. Gilly’s debut book titled, Allow Me to Interrupt: A Psychologist Reveals the Emotional Truth Behind Women’s ADHD, is now available for preorder. You can learn more about Gilly by visiting her website.
Follow Gilly on  Instagram

Is porn really rewiring your brain?Does masturbation harm relationships?Or are we caught in cultural shame scripts that make normal behaviors feel dangerous? In this episode, I unpack the research, from claims about erectile dysfunction and “porn addiction” to the ICD-11’s take on compulsive sexual behavior. Drawing from my clinical work with 100+ men, I explore how moral incongruence, secrecy, and shame—not masturbation itself—fuel distress. If you’ve ever wondered what the science actually says, this conversation will give you clarity, nuance, and maybe a little relief.
References:1. Antons, S., Brand, M. Diagnostic and Classification Considerations Related to Compulsive Sexual Behavior Disorder and Problematic Pornography Use. Curr Addict Rep 8, 452–457 (2021). https://doi.org/10.1007/s40429-021-00383-7
2. Beáta Bőthe, István Tóth-Király, Popova, N., Nagy, L., Mónika Koós, Zsolt Demetrovics,Potenza, M. N., Kraus, S. W., Ballester-Arnal, R., Dominik Batthyány, Bergeron, S., Joël Billieux, Peer Briken, Burkauskas, J., Cárdenas-López, G., Carvalho, J., Jesús Castro-Calvo,
3. Chen, L., Ciocca, G., & Corazza, O. (2025). Identification and comprehensive characterization of moral disapproval and behavioral dysregulation-based pornography-use profiles across 42 countries. Journal of Behavioral Addictions. https://doi.org/10.1556/2006.2024.00054
4. Engelhardt, R., Geppert, R., Grubbs, J. B., Timo von Oertzen, Trommer, D., Maes, J., & Kraus, W. (2025). Problematic pornography use and psychological distress: A longitudinal study in a large US sample. Addictive Behaviors, 169, 108398–108398. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.addbeh.2025.108398
5. Grubbs JB, Perry SL, Wilt JA, Reid RC. Pornography Problems Due to Moral Incongruence: An Integrative Model with a Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis. Arch Sex Behav. 2019 Feb;48(2):397-415. doi: 10.1007/s10508-018-1248-x. Epub 2018 Aug 3. PMID: 30076491.
6. Ince, C., Fontenelle, L.F., Carter, A. et al. Clarifying and extending our understanding of problematic pornography use through descriptions of the lived experience. Sci Rep 13, 18193 (2023). https://doi.org/10.1038/s41598-023-45459-8
7. Karol Lewczuk, Agnieszka Glica, Iwona Nowakowska, Mateusz Gola, Joshua B. Grubbs, Evaluating Pornography Problems Due to Moral Incongruence Model, The Journal of Sexual Medicine, Volume 17, Issue 2, 2020, Pages 300-311, ISSN 1743-6095, https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jsxm.2019.11.259.
8. Singareddy, C., Shrestha, S., Zheng, A. et al. Prospective Association of Symptoms of Depression and Anxiety with Pornography Viewing Frequency Among Young Adults. Arch Sex Behav 54, 749–759 (2025). https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-024-03024-y
9. Vieira, C., & Griffiths, M. D. (2024). Problematic Pornography Use and Mental Health: A Systematic Review. Sexual Health & Compulsivity, 31(3), 207–247. https://doi.org/10.1080/26929953.2024.2348624
10. Walther A, Ehlert U, Komlenac N. Problematic pornography use as an externalizing depression symptom in cisgender men: A cross-sectional questionnaire study. J Behav Addict. 2025 Sep 8. doi: 10.1556/2006.2025.00070. Epub ahead of print. PMID: 40920476.
 
 

In Episode 25 of ADHD Realities, I sit down with the brilliant Lauren Elise Rogers—holistic sexuality educator and embodied intimacy coach—for one of the most raw, liberating conversations yet. We dig into how early scripts of shame shape women’s sexuality, why confidence in the bedroom is sexy as hell, and how unlearning old conditioning lets us reclaim play, curiosity, and real pleasure.
Lauren shares her own journey, the power of the “3-Minute Game” for couples, and how shifting from unconscious patterns to conscious choice transforms intimacy. We also explore how porn became the default sex ed (and why that’s a problem), how parenting with warmth and openness breaks cycles of silence, and why our kids need affection, not shame, as they grow into their own sexuality.
This episode is equal parts education, vulnerability, and empowerment—you’ll walk away with tools, insights, and probably a few tears (I sure did).More information for Lauren:
Lauren Elise Rogers is a Certified Holistic Sexuality Educator and Embodied Intimacy & Relationship Coach, celebrated for her warm and approachable style. Her holistic and embodied approach to education and coaching is deeply rooted in her own pain-to-purpose journey. Lauren brings an empathetic and non-judgmental approach, offering practical tools that empower her clients to take ownership of their pleasure and grow in confidence and connection. She is known for creating shame-free spaces, where she invites individuals and couples to navigate complex topics like long-term partnerships, consensual non-monogamy, life transitions, purity culture and LGBTQIA+ issues.
 
SOCIAL MEDIA LINKS:
Website: www.sexedforyou.com
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@sexedforyou
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sex_ed_for_you/

Ever been mid masturbation and thought, “Why am I analyzing this toy like a product review instead of actually enjoying myself?” Or maybe the opposite, you’re left wondering if your clit is broken because nothing’s happening.
In this episode of ADHD Realities, Dr. Leann Borneman dives into how vibrators interact with ADHD brains and sensory processing differences. From overstimulation (too sharp, too loud, too much) to understimulation (too mild, too boring, not enough), we’ll break down why these experiences happen, and what you can actually do about it.
You’ll learn:
The concept of sensory load shifting...why partner control changes the game, and how to recreate that effect when you’re solo.
Practical strategies to dampen sensations when toys feel overwhelming.
Creative ways to amp up sensations when toys aren’t hitting enough.
How context like lighting, sound, hormones, stress, shapes your experience more than you think.
Because vibrators aren’t broken, and neither are you. It’s all about finding the right settings for your brain and body.Check out Dr. B's Sensation Spectrum Toy Guide

Erections, testosterone, fertility, penis size—men’s health is full of myths, shame, and bad TikTok advice. In this episode, I sit down with Urologist Dr. Justin Dubin to cut through the noise and get real about what’s actually going on with male sexual health.
We talk about why erectile dysfunction can be an early warning sign for bigger health issues, how testosterone really works (and what kills your sperm), what to know about Peyronie’s disease and penis pumps, and why shame keeps so many men from getting help.
This conversation is blunt, funny, and packed with facts your doctor probably hasn’t told you. If you or your partner have ever wondered what’s “normal,” this episode will change the way you think about men’s health.More info on Dr. Justin Dubin:Dr. Justin Dubin is a Urologist who specializes in Men's Health including sexual medicine and male infertility at Memorial Healthcare System in South Florida. Justin grew up in Wayne, NJ and graduated from Johns Hopkins University with a degree in Biology. He attended Rutgers Robert Wood Johnson for medical school then completed his training in Urology at the University of Miami followed by his Andrology fellowship at Northwestern University.  Dr. Dubin is passionate about men’s health and education with the goal of improving both the lives of men and their partners. He has published multiple papers on both male infertility and sexual health, has been quoted in the NY Times, Insider, GQ, The Cut, USA Today, and Men’s Health and is the current co-host of the men’s health podcast Man Up: A Doctor’s Guide to Men’s Health through which he hopes to destigmatize men's health topics and motivate men to improve their overall lives.Where you can find Dr. Justin Rubin:WebsiteInstagramTik TokThe Man up Pod 

If you’re an ADHD mom wondering why everything feels louder, harder, and more exhausting lately, then this one’s for you.
In this episode, Dr. Leann Borneman gets real about the absolute chaos of motherhood with ADHD, and why the invisible labor, relentless demands, and sensory overload aren't just “part of the job”, they’re a setup for burnout. And if you’re also in perimenopause? Buckle up, because the hormonal shifts do mess with your ADHD symptoms and regulation, even if the research hasn’t caught up yet.
We’re naming the rage, the noise, the overstimulation, and the deep, quiet guilt so many moms carry. This episode is validating, raw, and full of “oh my god, yes” moments, with some practical support to help you stop masking, start protecting your nervous system, and finally say, “this isn’t fine, and I’m not doing this alone".
Because the problem isn’t that you’re failing, it’s that the world expects you to mother like you’re not neurodivergent or hormonal.
And if you're looking for receipts, a new position paper published in July 2025 finally backs what we've been saying for years: hormonal fluctuations absolutely impact cognition, mood, and executive function. This peer-reviewed paper compiles extensive data to support the link between hormonal shifts and changes in ADHD symptom presentation across the lifespan.
👉 Read Article Here

What do you do when you realize you’re completely disconnected from your body, burned out, and expected to maintain a thriving sex life? In this episode, I sit down with psychologist, certified sex therapist, and author Dr. Kate Balestrieri to talk about her new book What Happened to My Sex Life?—a raw, real, and relatable exploration of desire, disconnection, resentment, and the slow road back to pleasure.
We talk about:
How burnout, patriarchy, ADHD, and resentment erode desire
What “reclaiming pleasure” really means (hint: it's not about lingerie and sex toys)
Why sex therapists aren’t immune to desire struggles
How to start reconnecting with your body without overwhelming yourself
The emotional labor and invisible scripts tied to heteronormative desire expectations
What it means to want intimacy but still feel "meh" about sex—and how that doesn’t make you broken
This one is honest, validating, and a powerful reminder that your sexuality isn’t gone—it might just be buried under all the bullshit.
More info on Dr. Kate Balestrieri: Dr. Kate Balestrieri, Psy.D is a Licensed Psychologist (Clinical and Forensic) in CA, FL, NYand IL. She is a Certified Sex Therapist, Certified Sex Addiction Therapist – Supervisor, and PACT III trained couples’ therapist. The Founder of Modern Intimacy, a nationwide therapy practice, Dr. Balestrieri is a passionate advocate for mental, relational and sexual health. Throughout her work, Dr. Balestrieri focuses on helping people build resilience and recovery from what ails them to move from a position of pain or discomfort to one of thriving, holistically in their lives. Dr. Balestrieri is the author of What Happened to My Sex Life? A Sex Therapist’s Guide to Reclaiming Lost Desire, Connection and Pleasure, and is the host of the Get Naked with Dr. Kate podcast.You can find Dr. Kate Balestrieri on:IG/Tik Tok: @drkatebalestrieriYouTube: @ModernIntimacy

In this no-BS solo episode, I dive headfirst into the relationship narrative that’s wrecking ADHD partnerships... the idea that "if you cared, you'd just show it."
You probably do care. Your executive function is just struggling with the neurotypical expectations attached.
I break down why ADHD brains struggle with “prioritizing” in the ways neurotypical society expects by explaining the real role of executive function barriers, environmental cues, and those WTF moments.
This episode is packed with:
Real talk about working memory, task initiation, and time blindness
ADHD-friendly ways to actually show up for your partner (without shame)
Why forgetting isn’t failing—and planning your love is still love
A solid reminder that intention does not equal execution, but both deserve compassion
Whether you’re the ADHD partner feeling like you're constantly falling short, or the one wondering why your person never “just remembers,” this episode is a must-listen.
Because your love is real.You just need a roadmap—and maybe a few post-it notes.
👉 Share this with your partner (or therapist). Let’s rewrite what prioritizing love actually looks like for ADHD brains.
Follow me on IG: @bornemanpscyhotherapyInterested in working with me? Check out my Website