ADHD Realities

In this episode of ADHD Realities, Dr. Borneman sits down with Dr. Jessica McCarthy a licensed neuropsychologist and clinical psychologist, for a no-BS, deeply validating conversation about what it really means to live with ADHD in a world not designed for our brains.
Together, they unpack the messy middle between medical models and neurodiversity movements, and explore the danger of relying too heavily on diagnosis as identity. This isn’t just another “what is ADHD?” episode, it’s a raw, unscripted look at self-compassion, environmental disconnects, grief, and the hard truth that sometimes… effort alone isn’t enough.
Expect laughs, F-bombs, and real talk about:
Why the pendulum swing from pathology to “ADHD is a superpower” leaves people unsupported
The social media myths that do more harm than help
Diagnosing vs. functioning and what schools actually get right
The difference between support and avoidance
And how both professionals are navigating this in their personal lives too
Whether you’re newly diagnosed, long time late diagnosed, or just trying to figure out why nothing seems to “work”, this episode is your reminder that you’re not lazy, but there is work to be done in ways that work with our brains and the realities, not against them.
🎧 Grab your coffee, put your phone on do not disturb, and let’s get radically honest.
Who is Dr. McCarthy? 
Dr. McCarthy is a licensed clinical psychologist and neuropsychologist, specializing in neuropsychological and psychoeducational assessments and cognitive-behavioral therapy for children through adults. She focuses on neurodivergent populations, including ADHD, autism, and learning differences, and conducts medically-driven assessments for conditions like TBI, stroke, and dementia. Dr. McCarthy uses evidence-based behavior therapies such as ACT and CBT, and enjoys working with young adults and women of all ages navigating life transitions. Her approach emphasizes understanding the brain-behavior relationship and providing actionable recommendations for patients and families. She has worked in schools, medical settings, and private practice, offering a wide range of specialty care. Dr. McCarthy is also a recognized speaker and media contributor on topics related to neuropsychology and mental health.  
How to find Dr. McCarthy?WebsiteIG: @elements_psych @dr.jessica.mccarthy Check out the new office location in Chatham, NJ

What if the systems we move through every day like school, work, life, were actually built to support the way our brains work, instead of working against us?
In this episode, I sit down with my longtime friend and neurodiversity advocate Dave Thompson to unpack what real inclusion looks like in the workplace. From childhood diagnosis to system level change, Dave shares how his personal and professional experiences collided into a career focused on redesigning the workforce for neurodivergent success.
We talk about:
The emotional complexity of disclosure at work
Why accommodations aren't just for some people—they benefit everyone
How AI tools like ChatGPT can be liberating or limiting depending on who's steering the ship
And how Gen Z is forcing workplaces to finally catch up
This conversation isn’t just about jobs, it’s about dignity, autonomy, and building environments that actually work. Whether you're an ADHDer navigating the 9 to 5, a manager wanting to do better, or someone just tired of masking, this one’s for you.Website
Rebranding The Brain: Neurodiversity at Work | Dave Thompson | TEDxDanville

Ever felt totally in the mood... until your clean skin, mental fatigue, or the idea of grabbing the lube made your brain shut down? In this intimate solo episode, Dr. Leann Borneman dives deep into the real life overlap of ADHD, executive function shutdown, sensory overload, and the confusing disconnect between wanting sex and being able to access it.
This isn’t about low libido, it’s about bandwidth, task sequencing, overstimulation, and the environmental mismatch so many ADHDers face in the bedroom. With raw honesty, relatable humor, and practical strategies, this episode validates the “WTF is happening to me” moments and helps you reframe them with compassion, clarity, and collaboration.
Whether you're a therapist, a partner, or someone with ADHD trying to make sense of your own intimacy patterns, this one is for you.
ADHD Informed Bedroom Check In

If sex has ever felt like a confusing chore, a pressure-filled performance, or just… not designed with your brain in mind, you are not alone. In this episode, Dr. Leann Borneman sits down with bestselling author and sex therapist Dr. Laurie Mintz (📚 Becoming Cliterate, A Tired Woman’s Guide to Passionate Sex) for a raw, hilarious, and deeply validating convo about orgasms, desire, and a little on how ADHD + sensory differences can shape our sexual experiences.
We tackle:
The orgasm gap and why it’s not your fault
The myth of "foreplay" and why it’s time to rewrite the script
Vibrators, high-vibration receptors, and the neuroscience of pleasure
ADHD overstimulation, sex paralysis, and the magic of planning without pressure
Responsive vs. spontaneous desire—and how most of us were never taught the difference
Whether you’ve faked it, avoided it, or felt broken for not wanting it—this episode flips the script and reminds you: pleasure should work for your brain, not against it.
👉 Listen in and give yourself permission to reimagine sex on your terms.
More information on Dr. Laurie Mintz:Dr. Laurie Mintz is an Emeritus Professor at the University of Florida teaching Human Sexuality to hundreds of undergraduates yearly. She has published over 60 scholarly works and authored two popular press books: Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters and How to Get It  and A Tired Woman’s Guide to Passionate Sex.  Mintz is a licensed psychologist and certified sex therapist in private practice. She is a Fellow of the American Psychological Association, indicating her work has had a positive national influence on the field of psychology. In 2023, she was named one of Forbes “50 over 50” women innovators.Dr. Laurie Mintz Contact:
Instagram
Website

Why does receiving oral feel like work for so many vulva owners with ADHD? This episode unpacks it all: the sensory chaos, the internal monologue that won’t quit, the vulnerability overload, and the executive dysfunction that makes "just enjoy it" feel like a cruel joke.
I dive deep into:
How gender scripts, shame, and ADHD intersect in the bedroom
Why “let go and enjoy” is NOT trauma-informed advice
What overstimulation, masking, and delayed self-awareness look like during oral
Real talk on orgasm grief, communication challenges, and reclaiming your pleasure
If you’ve ever tapped out mid-oral because your nervous system was screaming louder than your partner’s praise, this one’s for you. You are not broken. Your brain just wasn’t designed for the script you’ve been handed.
Content note: This episode contains honest conversation, humor, and a whole lot of validation, but is not a substitute for therapy. Please work with a qualified professional if you're experiencing distress.

In honor of National Masturbation Month, we're getting real about how self-pleasure, stimulation, and sensory seeking show up in ADHD brains. This isn’t just about orgasms — it’s about regulation, shame, curiosity, and reclaiming your body on your terms. Whether you’re navigating sensory overload, executive dysfunction, or internalized judgment around pleasure, this short episode breaks down why masturbation can be a form of self-care, not self-indulgence.
We’ll unpack the overlap between stimming and sexual touch, how ADHD impacts self-exploration, and why some of us struggle to even initiate solo time. If you’ve ever felt frustrated, disconnected, or unsure of your pleasure patterns, you’re not alone — and you’re definitely not broken.
Disclaimer: This episode is for educational purposes only. While it’s hosted by a licensed mental health provider, it is not a substitute for individualized mental health care. Think of it as a sprinkle of support to add to your backpack of knowledge — something to walk with on your journey of self-understanding and empowerment.
Let’s get curious, not critical.
 

In this hyperfocused, myth-busting deep dive, I’m joined by ADHD nutrition research expert Annika Angelo and we go all in. From sugar cravings and red dye panic to gluten, binge eating, and why sitting down for a full “balanced meal” might be working against our ADHD brains... this episode is packed with science, laughter, and so much validation. We explore: Why people with ADHD crave sugar (and why it’s not a moral failure) What the research actually says about food dyes, gluten, and dairy The real connection between binge eating and ADHD How nutrition is often set up through a neurotypical lens What an ADHD-friendly plate really looks like (spoiler: it’s not just broccoli and discipline) Whether you're a parent feeling food guilt, an adult ADHDer who lives off snacks and vibes, or just someone confused by all the conflicting advice online, this episode will leave you feeling more informed, less judged, and maybe a little mind-blown. 🧠✨ Because ADHD isn’t a discipline problem. It’s a different brain. And we deserve more fitting narratives! Links for Annika: Website - nutrimindcoaching.com Patreon - patreon.com/nutrimindcoach Podcast [The Nutritional Mental Health Podcast] - https://open.spotify.com/show/1OZgEmTw9WO00Xxz5XUuBN

In this episode, I sit down with somatic sexologist Sarah Silverstein to explore therapeutic yoni massage and its connection to ADHD, trauma, body awareness, and pleasure. We dive into what yoni mapping actually is, how it can support nervous system regulation, and why it may be helpful, especially for my fellow ADHDers looking to reconnect with their bodies. ⚠️ Disclaimer: We discuss G-spot stimulation and internal orgasms. If that’s not part of your experience, you are not broken, everyone’s anatomy and pleasure responses are different. Much of this conversation is based on personal and professional experience and is not supported by empirical review outside of the information on message therapy and the positive effects this has. Please listen with curiosity, compassion, and discernment. If this works for you, amazing. If not, that’s okay too.
✨ Topics include: Yoni massage vs. clinical pelvic work ADHD, sensory overwhelm & intimacy Shame, sensuality & self-awareness How to explore pleasure without pressure
🔗 Follow Sarah: https://www.instagram.com/sarahsilverstein
🌐 Learn more & explore workshops: https://sarasil.com
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What happens when you mix neuroscience, lived ADHD experience, and zero tolerance for shame? This episode. I sit down with Dr. Ludovico Saint Amour di Chanaz (neuroscientist, author, and ADHDer) to unpack the chaos of late diagnosis, burnout, identity grief, motivation struggles, and why self-compassion isn't just nice... it's necessary. We’re talking ADHD cycles, why routines feel impossible, the not so sexy truth about sleep, and how to stop hating yourself for having a human brain. If you're tired of “just try harder” advice then this one’s for you. Contact info for Dr. Ludovico Saint Amour di Chanaz: Ig: https://www.instagram.com/brain.curiosities/ The ADHD User's Manual: https://www.amazon.com/ADHD-Users-Manual-Understanding-Empowerment/dp/8409668696/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1J3RNTJMXZZ4N&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.uqoe5Wr8kQfU8krtFg8jvNE3CjtWcd1pEIyKOJZ2Kq1A0SQV7k-IvP84ioI9J4fq6o7y984537VPux4JxEgXeuU4N0mMF-LPKV0cUnZQssWVr4q4qAlPFxXfTe6FG0aEPxqdXYdaSILUtzpvyXwJuOjfniyuXJTXrQFXuq9dKzHEzki4iVcYn81Fz-g_cVCHR_xNSqg2FU4N7gAthQ55qUS74Itfw5WWM0Ew9HMDW2Y.UydnfNGdnbDYWEO9oEaKfgNHXQQGcnMwFPDC2ZY5RYM&dib_tag=se&keywords=adhd+users+manual&qid=1743954684&sprefix=adhd+us%2Caps%2C1279&sr=8-1

People pleasing isn't just a personality quirk, it can be a deeply ingrained survival strategy, especially for ADHDers who grew up masking, over apologizing, or craving external validation. In this episode, we dive deep into how ADHD impacts people pleasing in the bedroom, where saying "yes" when we mean "maybe" or "no" happens more often than we realize. You'll gain a stronger ADHD informed lens on your sexual and emotional experiences, learn why your brain might default to over-accommodating, and discover practical, shame free ways to reconnect with your desires. We’re talking scripts, boundary setting tools, and communication shifts that actually work with your ADHD brain, instead of against it. This episode is your permission slip to stop abandoning yourself in intimate moments and start showing up authentically, awkwardly, and powerfully.